On Wednesday morning, I was feelin’ goooood. There was plenty of fresh, fluffy white stuff at the ski hill. I had no work commitments. The day was ours to play.
Spirit complimented my sentiments by offering me an inspiring and exuberant intention for my day: ‘PLAY HARD.’
And so we did. The snow delivered. My fun friends made it awesome. I tried a new-to-me double black diamond trail! We ate cheeseburgers at lunch time. I haven’t laughed that hard or that much in a long time.
It was the PERFECT DAY. I think I even said, “This is the most fun I’ve had at the ski hill this season.”
And then on the last run of the day, hopping and gliding with glee through the tree glades with soft snow, my ski tips suddenly crossed, and I softly flew up and forward.
One ski got stuck in the snow. My leg began to twist with the resistance. As my boot tried to extract itself from my binding, I felt (and heard) two loud pops in my right knee. I had the immediate thought, “Uh oh.”
My friend Aubrey pulled my ski out of the snow and handed it to me, asking if I was okay. I told her my knee felt weird, but it was probably fine. No pain.
The morning after I twisted my knee, it was very difficult to walk. It was painful. It felt unstable.
I instantly became worried (insert FEAR), and I kind of fed that fear by trying to self-diagnose on Dr. Google.
When folks say ‘don’t do that,’ they mean it. I got so freaked out by what I read. I worried that I may have royally messed my knee up for life. It was so much fear all at once that I got nauseous, hot and lightheaded (fear showing up in anxiety-related symptoms).
I crawled down onto the kitchen floor, feeling the cold surface cool down my exposed skin beyond my pyjamas. I felt the blood rush back to my head. My mind was reeling.
“WHAT HAVE I DONE?”
I had a quick hit that I could ask Spirit for wisdom. I frantically asked and Spirit’s guidance, relayed calmly, was to rest. That’s it.
I figured in addition to resting, which seemed too obvious, I should really get my knee looked at. So I managed to get a walk-in clinic spot later that afternoon, and make a physiotherapy appointment for next week.
The doctor at the clinic checked my knee over and asked some questions and said, “You’ll be fine. It’s not torn. It’s not even swollen. I bet it will heal over time. You can probably still ski, if you want.”
I reacted with a look of astonishment. I can’t even walk normally, how am I supposed to go back to skiing?! He said, “Stick to the groomed runs.” His lack of concern didn’t match what I had happening in my head, but I still oddly felt calmed and reassured by his words.
The rest of the day, I rested my knee, iced it, took it easy, and went to bed early cuz my knee was still giving me trouble. It felt stiff, painful, and unstable. Worry was still weaving into my awareness.
Had I messed up not only the rest of our ski time here in Nelson (a mere two weeks left), but also my ability to mountain bike and run and play for the rest of the year?! OH NO!
Side note: I can now see how I tend to look for the worst case scenario just to see what that would feel like, then I try to forget what I thought of. That doesn’t bode well. Just sayin’.
But before I fell asleep, I realized that I could maybe balance all that worry by asking for help with healing my knee. So I did what I know how to do: Invite in the spirits, the energies, the allies, and ask them to help heal my knee. Relax. Breathe. Let them do the ‘heavy lifting.’ I figured since this knee thing really sucked, maybe some additional tangible help might be nice, so I offered my knee Reiki energy and amped it up with some healing hands work.
I also popped two Advil for good measure.
The next morning, I woke up and prepared to limp to the bathroom but was dumbfounded when I discovered I didn’t need to limp.
ALL DISCOMFORT WAS GONE.
I HAD MY NORMAL KNEE BACK!!
WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!?!?
The logical part of my brain thinks my knee must have been out of alignment because of the injury, and then magically, overnight, something had come back into alignment and it was now healed.
The mystical part of me thinks maybe it was a miracle. I did ask for all the ‘big names’ of healing spirits to come and offer me healing.
Or maybe it was both reasonable and miraculous.
All in all, the classic reminder is: the body has the ability to heal itself. Let it do so.
I find this particularly hilarious: once again, the Wordle word of the day is supporting my advances in healing: ALLOW. Allow the body to heal itself. Allow the energies to create alignment. Don’t get in the way trying to fix it or bring constriction to the situation by letting fear tighten its grip.
Allow your body to heal itself.
Now I gotta go cancel that physio appointment. It’s definitely no longer required.
Musings from Spirit
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