do you ever get this message too?
It’s happened to me many times over the last two months:
- My phone telling me there are too many pictures and I need to purchase more space to store them all;
- My online video app telling me I have no storage left to save my group videos;
- My to-do list needs a staple to keep the multiple pages together;
- My desk is covered with papers, as are my drawers, and, yes, I’ll admit it: I’ve even got piles of papers that have been shuffled onto the floor of the closet in my bedroom!
THIS IS NOT IDEAL, to say the least.
I’m exceeding my limit on other things in my daily life too.
I feel like I keep dropping things. Like I’ve got too many balls in the air and I’m not an organized enough, or a talented enough juggler to keep them all gliding smoothly through the air.
Is anyone actually really good at this? I dunno.
I wanted to know more, so in a brief spirit-journey the other day, I was shown, energetically speaking, that I’m dropping seeds behind me. These seeds are beautiful things wanting to be collected, and tended to, but I’m walking forward with my head down in the driven-masculine-based awareness that is striving for something (what, exactly?), and perhaps I’m walking over, or totally missing the point!
“How can I fix this?” my mind asks… Most likely, that’s the voice of my rational, wanting-to-fix left brain. Luckily for me, my intuition responded:
Balance doing with being.
When you are being, let go of any expectation of outcome.
When you are doing, don’t fuck around.
Wait, what? Did Spirit just swear at me?
I’m led to believe what my intuition is inferring here is the procrastination methods I often employ to make myself feel like I’m doing something productive, but really, I’m just messing around on Facebook or tending to something that isn’t actually important or productive at all, like making a secondary to-do list instead of actually doing something on my list.
Here’s what I think this all boils down to: I’m stuck between the self-imposed pressure to get things done (massive, overwhelming to do list, and societal cues of ‘being busy’ don’t help here), and the strong desire to succumb to distractions.
End result: I GET NO WHERE.
That road I think I’m walking on, moving forward in some way? That’s an illusion ‘cuz at this point in time, it’s more like a treadmill, and if I open my eyes more clearly, if I broaden my perspective, I can see that I’m just walking, and sometimes running, on the spot – which seems rather silly. This metaphor is giving me a potential new way to shift toward:
WHAT IF I JUST SIT DOWN ON THE TREADMILL?
What if I press the big red, “STOP” button on the treadmill, take a look around in the present moment and see what would serve me best right now?
What will that look like?
Sometimes that will be DOING, where I take action with intention. That means doing the stuff that needs to get done (like planting the garlic in my garden before the ground freezes), instead of seeing if anyone else liked my last Insta photo (which I probably just checked ten minutes before).
Sometimes that will be BEING, where I am opening myself to experiences that are not necessarily focussed on an outcome. I can think of many examples: walks in the forest, taking photos of beautiful things, napping, scratching my dog’s ears, and I’d even go as far as to include the simple act of breathing, or at least watching myself breathe.
And sometimes that will likely involve a few moments of LAUGHING as an invitation to take pretty much everything a tad less seriously.
All of this is suggesting I stay present to what is, in this moment, and make choices from a place of checking in with my intuition and my whole self about what would serve me best, and nourish me the most.
I know this isn’t new, or rocket science, but for some reason, writing it out in this way allows me to step out of my habits, my old routines, even for a moment, and begin to see the new ones that want to help me.
Help me do what?
Be myself.
Surrender to the flow of this beautiful life.
And move with fire-like intention when called to.
Who else also read these words and said an inner, “Heck yeah! Gimme some of that!”?
Are you curious how you could begin this process too?
Take five minutes and find a comfy place to sit or lay down. Breathe into your being, and when you are ready, ask yourself:
“What do I need to move myself forward in life, in this moment?”…
“What do I need to nourish myself in this moment?…
And then, be curious about what thoughts, images, or body sensations come to you… Maybe even take a few more minutes to write down what came to you…
Can you follow up on your own wisdom, and implement what came up for you?
As an example, if you felt sleepy or heavy in your body, can you rest for a bit? Or if your project came to mind, could you work on it for half an hour or jot down your ideas? If the air around you felt thick, could you step outside for some fresh air? You catch my drift on this…
* * *
For me, this kind of ‘stop the treadmill’ shift I’m referring to has already transpired into early morning wake-ups this week where I rise, ignore my phone, make tea, and sit and write for a few hours before the rest of my household gets up for the day (bolstered by my lack of success at recalibrating to BC time after spending the last two weeks in Nova Scotia, but I digress). I’m not typically an early morning gal, but I have to say I’m diggin’ this new pattern.
I’ve also been scratching a few lingering things off my to-do lists, sleeping when I’m tired, saying ‘no’ to things, saying ‘heck yes’ to other things, and checking in on the speed of my treadmill.
I’m curious what other shifts will come from this. We shall see.
For now, thanks for taking the time to read this.
Let’s keep finding balance in life, together.
Warmly,
